About the Author

My name is Cristina Gherghel, and I thank you for taking an interest in learning who I am. 

You might know me under the pseudonym Cristina G. — the author of the book Oranges at Christmas in a Communist Country (among others).

I write, research, and expose what is silenced: atypical neurodiversity, complex trauma, systemic psychological abuse, and the myths we are sold as truth.

I did not discover my identity through guided introspection, healing therapies, or the mantra "be yourself." I arrived here through dedicated holistic study, conflict, panic, psychological collapse, and the impossibility of submitting to the monolithic and monopolistic rules imposed by trauma experts, psychologists, therapists, or counselors by default.

Everything I write stems from direct experience and real neurological conditions that science is only beginning to understand or acknowledge.

What I Have (and Why It Matters)

• Aphantasia – I cannot generate mental images. When I close my eyes, it’s black. I discovered I have aphantasia at the age of 40, in Exeter (UK), while researchers there were defining the term “aphantasia” for the first time. I was trying to "visualize" my future as a writer, but I couldn’t. This led to the astounding revelation that some people see, hear, and feel things in their minds. To me, that’s an extraterrestrial ability, a supernatural power.
• Multisensory (Total) Aphantasia – I cannot simulate tastes, smells, touches, sounds, or physical sensations in my mind. Perhaps I should call it global aphantasia to avoid confusion with asensoria. I’ll consider it.
• Anauralia – I don’t have an inner voice. I don’t “hear” my thoughts.
• Asensoria – I cannot simulate affective states. I don’t feel pride or many other emotions considered fundamental.
• Anhedonia – I don’t experience pleasure as others describe it. Music, touch, or social rewards do not excite me.
• Asexuality – I don’t experience sexual attraction. I never have.

These neurodivergent and atypical conditions do not originate in trauma.
They are not reactive phenomena, avoidance mechanisms, or defensive responses. They cannot be reduced to “diminished emotional intensity” and are not resolved through emotional healing techniques. They reflect a distinct neurological architecture, determined by profound peculiarities in brain function — causes I detail in blogs and books.

However, trauma and panthropic abuse — a form of ontological, subtle, diffuse, yet catastrophic aggression — have decisively contributed to the crystallization of these traits. In my case, these forms of abuse specifically influenced asexuality, transforming it into an existential dimension, not just a psychological trait.

Other Invisible Conditions

• Misophonia – Extreme anxiety reactions to sounds such as nail-biting, gulping, jazz, and more recently, “therapeutic tones” like Tibetan bowls or binaural frequencies.
• Multiple Phobias – Especially medical phobias and a driving phobia, severely impacting my daily life.
• Panic Attacks – Controlled my existence for 30 years, causing episodes of somatic and mental terror.
• Social Anxiety – Paralytic fear of interactions and public spaces.
• C-PTSD – Complex post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from repeated abuse, chronic invalidation, and the absence of a safe environment.
• Endometriosis – A painful, invisible gynecological condition often ignored by the medical system.
• Vestibulitis – Chronic and painful inflammation of the vaginal vestibule, with devastating impacts on intimate and psychological life.
• Etc., etc., etc. – Because the list doesn’t end, but I refuse to reduce it to a dry inventory.

Why I Write

Because when I sought answers, no one was talking about this.
For over two decades, I searched everywhere: psychiatry, psychology, metaphysics, philosophy — and nowhere did I find descriptions comparable to my experiences. To academia, I was nonexistent, undefinable, a phenomenon without a name.

Only Kafka, with The Metamorphosis and The Trial, offered me initial references. Then Schrödinger’s paradox completed what literature, behavioral science, and neurology could not articulate: I was living simultaneously as a presence and an absence, an existence without recognition.

I write because I couldn’t find a conceptual system anywhere that described the reality I experience. So I’m building it.

I also write because:

• Personal development and motivational discourses lied to me and retraumatized me.
• Medicine sent me to psychiatry. Psychiatry reduced me to hysteria, hypochondria, and “impossible diagnosis.”
• I’m tired of savior metaphors, intellectual gaslighting, and collective manipulation wrapped as healing.

I write for those who don’t resonate with forced optimism, “guided” meditations, or illusions of “visualize success.” I write for those seeking truth, not pre-packaged comfort.

I’ve written blogs, books, even vlogs in The Secret style, promoting “the power of the mind” and the idea that “happiness is a choice.” But in 2024, I understood that deep suffering doesn’t dissolve through positive thinking. Wounds don’t disappear with mantras or “daily gratitude.”

Here, I don’t expand on all these ideas. I explore them in my other blogs and books. Here, I stay true to one purpose: describing reality as it is, with all its nuances, impossible to publish in glossy magazines.

I Write About

• Complex trauma (C-PTSD)
• Narcissistic, psychopathic, sociopathic, sadistic, and panthropic abuse — emotional, psychological, and verbal
• Systems of control — politics, spirituality, motivational psychology
• Women, bodies, reproduction, menopause, hormonal imbalances
• Dysfunctional relationships
• Invisible and invalidated neurodivergence

My Books

Independently published, without censorship, without compromise.
ChatGPT once told me that what I write cannot sell because it doesn’t cater to those seeking fairy tales, heroes, and stardust.
I accepted the risk of ending up under a bridge if that’s the price of truth.
I write for people like me — who no longer seek illusions, but explanations.

Books are available on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/author/cristinagherghel

You’ll find:

• Intergenerational trauma
• Mental and physical health
• Personality disorders (Cluster A, B, C)
• Mood disorders: Bipolarity
• Depression
• Invisible suffering
• Systemic lies
• Normalized abuse
• Reconstruction without platitudes

I also publish memoirs, fiction, novellas, short stories, even poetry — without pretension, but with honesty.

Related Blogs

• Existential trauma and panthropic abuse 

https://panthropicabuseandexistentialtrauma.blogspot.com

I have around 130 blogs (in English and Romanian) on varied topics, which you can explore here:

• https://www.blogger.com/profile/18419031630884764162
• https://www.blogger.com/profile/09734612303574078932 

Discover Some of My Older Works

Printed books by Cristina G. can be found here: amzn.to/3Ff54OL

Warning

Reading my work might cause:

• Existential discomfort
• The rage of clarity
• The urge to burn all self-help books in your house

Consult your therapist. Or question them. Depending on what they’ve done. Or hidden from you.

P.S.

If you write but have never published, you can do it for free by clicking this link: https://www.draft2digital.com/CristinaGherghel.